ITALIANO .
Ieri mi annoiavo e non sapevo cosa fare, allora ho deciso di conseguire un dottorato in ingegneria meccanica. L'ennesima istituzione, dopo le scuole elementari di Scopello nel 1990, le scuole medie di Balmuccia nel 1993, l'Istituto Tecnico Industriale Statale di Borgosesia nel 1998 ed il Politecnico di Torino nel 2004, non si e' accorta che sono un idiota, cosi' anche la University of Liverpool nel 2010 e' caduta nel mio tranello.
E' cominciato tutto quando avevo 5 anni: siccome per lanciare i giochi del Toshiba MSX bisognava scrivere una riga di comando e per sapere a che punto della cassetta cominciava il gioco bisognava saper contare, prima ancora di andare a scuola mio fratello mi aveva gia' insegnato a leggere, scrivere e contare. Questo non significa che fossi piu' intelligente, assolutamente. It just means that I was stoned with video games and I learned these three things before my peers.
My parents wanted me to even skip the first grade, but anyone with common sense should have made him out that I had the physique of an anorexic shrew, and then if I went to class with more than 'older than one year I would have done acts of continuous bullying as well as' the girls I would never smear of shit. Then somehow I started regularly and happily with my peers. This has influenced my whole school career until yesterday. Let me explain why '.
The first grade teacher thought, 'Go to this brave child who already knows' do it all! " and at the end of the year wrote a positive opinion on the report card. This site and to view 'was read by second grade teacher who, being very distracted and not' never noticed that I was a child any, even a little 'stupid to tell the truth, and based its opinion for that' past year on my reputation. All this and 'repeated for about 25 years until a Chinese professor and one of Southampton have decided to give me a doctorate based on the fact that my English speaker and, before him as the Polytechnic, they would not allow such an idiot to appear in that examination without being prepared.
.
So if you now call me doctor also outside Italy, and 'only thanks to my brother but mainly to Konami.
.
ENGLISH
E' cominciato tutto quando avevo 5 anni: siccome per lanciare i giochi del Toshiba MSX bisognava scrivere una riga di comando e per sapere a che punto della cassetta cominciava il gioco bisognava saper contare, prima ancora di andare a scuola mio fratello mi aveva gia' insegnato a leggere, scrivere e contare. Questo non significa che fossi piu' intelligente, assolutamente. It just means that I was stoned with video games and I learned these three things before my peers.
My parents wanted me to even skip the first grade, but anyone with common sense should have made him out that I had the physique of an anorexic shrew, and then if I went to class with more than 'older than one year I would have done acts of continuous bullying as well as' the girls I would never smear of shit. Then somehow I started regularly and happily with my peers. This has influenced my whole school career until yesterday. Let me explain why '.
The first grade teacher thought, 'Go to this brave child who already knows' do it all! " and at the end of the year wrote a positive opinion on the report card. This site and to view 'was read by second grade teacher who, being very distracted and not' never noticed that I was a child any, even a little 'stupid to tell the truth, and based its opinion for that' past year on my reputation. All this and 'repeated for about 25 years until a Chinese professor and one of Southampton have decided to give me a doctorate based on the fact that my English speaker and, before him as the Polytechnic, they would not allow such an idiot to appear in that examination without being prepared.
.
So if you now call me doctor also outside Italy, and 'only thanks to my brother but mainly to Konami.
.
ENGLISH
.
Yesterday I was bored and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to obtain a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. The umpteenth institution, after Scopello primary school in 1990, Balmuccia secondary school in 1993, the State Technical-Industrial Institute of Borgosesia in 1998 and Turin Polytechnic in 2004, didn't notice that I am an idiot so the University of Liverpool has also been tricked out.
It all started when I was 5: since I had to write a code line to start Toshiba MSX's games and I also need to count in order to know at which point of the tape the game started, far before starting school my brother already taught me how to read, write and count. This doesn't absolutely mean that I was more intelligent. It just mean that I was so focussed on videogames to waste my time on learning boring things before the other children of the same age.
My parents even wanted to make me start school directly from the second year but fortunately someone very wise made them aware of the fact that I had the physique of an anorexic shrew and so if I had gone in the same class of the children one year older than me I would have been bullied the whole time and, most importantly, little girls would have never considered me. So I somehow managed to start regularly and happily the right year as anyone else. This thing influenced my whole academic career until yesterday. I'll tell you why.
My first year teacher in 1985 probably thought:"Look what a nice little boy who already knows how to do everything!", so she wrote good recommendation on my final report. This positive record had been read by the second year teacher who was distracted and never noticed that I was an ordinary, and probably stupid, boy. So she based her final evaluation on my past reputation. This thing continued for about 25 years until a chinese professor and another professor from Southampton decided to give me a PhD based on the fact that my supervisor and people from Polytechnic would have never allowed an idiot to have a PhD viva without being ready for it.
.
So if now I am a Doctor outside Italy too, it is just thanks to my brother and especially to Konami.
Yesterday I was bored and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to obtain a PhD in Mechanical Engineering. The umpteenth institution, after Scopello primary school in 1990, Balmuccia secondary school in 1993, the State Technical-Industrial Institute of Borgosesia in 1998 and Turin Polytechnic in 2004, didn't notice that I am an idiot so the University of Liverpool has also been tricked out.
It all started when I was 5: since I had to write a code line to start Toshiba MSX's games and I also need to count in order to know at which point of the tape the game started, far before starting school my brother already taught me how to read, write and count. This doesn't absolutely mean that I was more intelligent. It just mean that I was so focussed on videogames to waste my time on learning boring things before the other children of the same age.
My parents even wanted to make me start school directly from the second year but fortunately someone very wise made them aware of the fact that I had the physique of an anorexic shrew and so if I had gone in the same class of the children one year older than me I would have been bullied the whole time and, most importantly, little girls would have never considered me. So I somehow managed to start regularly and happily the right year as anyone else. This thing influenced my whole academic career until yesterday. I'll tell you why.
My first year teacher in 1985 probably thought:"Look what a nice little boy who already knows how to do everything!", so she wrote good recommendation on my final report. This positive record had been read by the second year teacher who was distracted and never noticed that I was an ordinary, and probably stupid, boy. So she based her final evaluation on my past reputation. This thing continued for about 25 years until a chinese professor and another professor from Southampton decided to give me a PhD based on the fact that my supervisor and people from Polytechnic would have never allowed an idiot to have a PhD viva without being ready for it.
.
So if now I am a Doctor outside Italy too, it is just thanks to my brother and especially to Konami.
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